Tannen said in Griffin (2009, p.432) that when communicating, women seeks human connection while men are mainly concerned with status, but not all women seek human connection and not all men concern status. In Malone (1997, p.80) stated that "boy's socialization experiences lead to a sense of separation and a striving for action and achievement in order to differentiate themselves from those around them, while girl's socialization experiences lead to a sense of continuity, first with mothers, then with best friends in small, exclusive dyads, resulting in what Gilligan terms a morality of responsibility which stresses sensitivity to others and worry over inflicting hurt."
The women prefers rapport talk, while the men prefers report talk. According to Griffin (2009, p.432), rapport talk is "the typical conversational style of women, which seeks to establish connection with others." So when women communicate with others, they are trying to connect. While report talk is "the typical monologic styles of men, which seeks to command attention, convey information and win arguements." (Griffin, 2009, p.432).
Private speaking versus public speaking, where women talk a lot during a private conversation than men. In public speaking, the men compete to be dominant and they speak a lot in public than women. Men speak at a typical lecture style to set up a one-up position. When telling stories, men tells more stories then women and this stories tend to be jokes. According to Griffin (2009, p.433), by telling jokes it represents a manly way to negotiate status. If not telling jokes, men tend to tell stories where they are the heroes, while women tell stories that involves with others. Also, when women tell their stories, they tend to describe themselves as someone who is clumsy instead of somebody a well mannered person.
When listening, the women will show that she is listening either verbally, for example the word "yeah", or body language, for example by nodding the head. While men don't do this because it is to avoid from being seen as "one-down". Women tends to interrupt a conversation to show that she support with what the speaker is saying. This is known as "cooperative overlap". Men sees interruption as a "power move to take control of the conversation." (Griffin, 2009, p.434). Women also asked most of the question in a conversation. The reason is that women wants to "establish a connection with others." (Griffin, 2009, p.434). Women also add tag question when giving an opinion. Griffin (2009, p.434) define tag question as "a short question at the end of a declarative statement, often used by women to soften the sting of potential disagreement." The reason why men don't ask question is that its exposes their ignorance.Conflicts, men usually starts it and they are comfortable with it. Women avoid conflict because to women, its a threat to connection.
For Genderlect, I'm going to use Shrek as an example when Shrek met Fiona's parents. When Fiona burp she apologize to avoid conflict, then Shrek decided to tell a joke to show masculinity but it failed. When Donkey entered the room, the king asked him to get down, and again Fiona explained the situation to avoid conflict. Shrek didn't even asked question when he was drinking that "so-called" soup and compliment it. Again both Fiona and the Queen tried their best to avoid conflict but when Donkey said "the swamp", the conflict starts. Which shows that men really starts the conflict. The conflict continues between Shrek and the King when the topic about the baby started to rise up. Both the ladies, Fiona and the Queen, tried their best to end the conflict but failed.
Reference:
Griffin, E. (2009). A first look at communication theory. (7th ed.). Glencoe, IL: McGraw Hill.
Malone, M. J. (1997).Words of talk: The presentation of Self in Everyday Conversation. USA: Blackwell Publishers Inc.
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